Sunday, June 27, 2010

a little rant... um actually a big one

I feel it is someone's duty to inform everyone that MTF transgender come in all shapes, sizes, and mannerisms. Like all girls some of us might have a tad bit of tomboyishness and others might conform to the stereotypes that we do not know what a hammer is and all like the color pink!

The path to reconcile how I feel inside and what the body I'm in is a fucking difficult task! Just like everyone else I have days that I'm bulletproof and other days my hormones are not quite balanced that cause me to cry at the smallest provocation.

Some days I am dismayed when I am called a sir or have someone I know refer to me as a man. That literally just sends daggers into my spirit and I feel myself bleeding to death.

It does get that way sometimes.

My dream is to get my SRS and align how I feel with the vessel I am experiencing this life in. I cannot think of any other way to express the horror I feel when I have to wake up everyday and know that I'm in this body. I don't want to be a f*n princess. I am not girly girly and feel I can make shit happen for myself. That's where I'm at mentally! I like messing around with computers and like science. Does that make it right to place value judgments on me?! I know plenty of uterus-equipped women that like to rumble and tumble with the boys and hold non-traditional jobs that some women would crumble under. Does that make them less woman or not a woman?

I beg of everyone who knows me to quit reminding me about my biological misalignment and show this woman some respect. She's worked her ass off and is trying her best to make her way through this life with some shred of happiness. Thank you.