Off Topic- but it's a Friday!!!

So it’s a Friday morning and I’m feeling a tad tired from lack of sleep. I do the usual starting with getting up at the cry of my nephew. He sleeps in his bed not more than four feet from my Posture-breaking Futon 9000. This is usually about seven or when my niece unknowingly wakes him as she’s getting ready for school. She’s just a kid and doesn’t understand how hard it is to take care of her little brother when he’s cranky in the morning. She can be pretty bad too- after all her dad’s a redhead!

I putter around and turn the comp on,

make the little guy some milk or juice, get myself something warm to drink, and go out for a smoke. Yes I smoke and want to quit but it’s the monkey on my back these days.

Ain't I a Cute Habit??!!!

By the time I get back in he’s done and it’s cold enough to hang meat around the living room. I open up the wood stove, clean it out, toss in the families “unwanted” bills (makes good fire starters), and finally add wood. I also have to do the Hazmat job of cleaning the toxic waste that somehow manages to fill his pampers!

Yes! Kids know how to keep you busy :-P

Argh.

The trick is to breathe through your mouth- not the nose! It worked for me when I worked in a Nursing Home. By then it’s around eight and I’m a wreck! I haven’t changed clothes and look as stylish as a Bingo playing mother with eight kids- driving an old Plymouth station wagon with rollers in her hair! I will then alternate running between the computer and the kitchen where my breakfast is cooking and feeding my nephew.

Woo hoo! I got mail! :-)

Hey! Quit spitting on me! >:-(

While typing I also have to keep an eye on my nephew because he’s a curious little boy trapped in Godzilla’s body with the similar dexterity of G-Zil (my shortened hip name for Godzilla).

That is just a little example of Tyrene’s day- Sheesh! No wonder my single parent friend’s look tired a lot- and don’t wear make-up!

OMG! How Barbaric and un-Sally Struthers!

I literally praise every known deity by the time my shift with the kids is done! I’m SO glad I’ll be going back to work real soon and will be living on my own also- HOOFUCKINGRAH! I do have a definite date now and will just sit here in the meantime with a permanent frozen look of I Don’t Give a Crap I’m Audi Anyway on my face!

I know there are people out there who, somehow by the hairs of their chinny chin chins, take care of more kids! I’m talking about the quints and sextets (NO! Not that sex you dirty bird!). :-P In a way I’ve become a Smoke Ninja at multitasking here courtesy of childrearing by default. I’m curious as to how you manage your multitasking??!!! Do you have extra help? Do you pretend to be a piece of furniture hoping the kids don’t know it’s you? I could use more pointers in case I get a stray dog or a Tamagotchi in the near future :-P

Feed me or your a bad mommy!!! Wahhh!!!

*GROAN*