Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Four Weeks
Tyrene Banks is a pseudonym. It's no disrespect to the name given me by my parents. I just feel as a woman I should not have a man's name. Translife for me is everything. Yeah it's very hard to be living the life I have but there's a lesson to be learned here. Not too cliche but it's something I've learned in my young 36 years of living.
I have now come to a firm decision. I am going to begin taking my hormones again. With the aid of an anti-androgen I should begin feeling and looking like how I feel inside.
Yes. I'm still going to Iron Work. How the guys handle that is up to them. I haven't started yet but when I do- it could be bad or good.
Good I hope.
Things get crazy sometimes and religion helps me out quite a bit. In all honesty religion is something that I've shied away from most of my life. I do believe that we did not come from nothing. I can't even conceive that we are the byproduct of chance. Religion is what has carried me this far and has helped me retain my santiy through all the crazy shit Transwomen go through.
I haven't been writing as much as I had hoped lately. I'm busy busy busy with moving forward with my life and really haven't had the time to sit down and actually continue writing. I have not given up on the books I am working on- but with my latest jaunts I have more things and experiences to enrich my palette..er keyboard with :-)
He he he. Change of topic but I still get a little "ga ga" over handsome men and will stick my foot in my mouth but that's just me. I'm young at heart is my excuse :-P
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Freebies? Gratis? Why not??!!!
It was just a fun time :-)
By the time I was getting a roller-coaster routine down my mom was done with summer courses and it was school time. Around this time everyone needed new clothes!!! Luckily for us poor Dine kids there was a Tribal Government Ration Santa!
Tribal Clothing!!!
There was something about those days when the words Tribal Clothing floated around school. Getting tribal clothing could be used to make fun of people and their disadvantaged economic backgrounds (having material things and rich parents were all the rage back then; sad but true). Tribal Clothing were donations of clothing that were dispersed throughout the various school districts on Dine-land. They were then handed out to students with the economic demographics that warranted assistance- which was almost everyone!
Come on now! Anytime you get free clothing is cool!!! However tribal clothing time could also be a time you would cross your fingers and pray that you didn't get anything "uncool." The plastic bags the clothes came in were the clear 30 gallon size janitor specials! There were the occasional teasings because someone had underwear visible from the bags!
"Ewww. Her panties are showing!!!"
"Look she got hamburger shoes!!! Ha ha ha" Of course no one was immune from the teasings because it was a mixed-bag of luck when it came to what you got! Hamburger shoes were generic brown dress shoes. They were cheap and lo and behold this is what I found while cleaning out the house this past weekend!
Sometimes you would get lucky and get the now "fucking awesome" Converses and the (anyone member these???) Kangaroos. The Kangaroos were nifty and groundbreaking cuz' they had a pocket with a zipper on em'! I loved those shoes!!!
Tribal Clothing was a godsend to parents in the early days of the Navajo Nation. The Seventies, when I was a little girl, were rough times for a lot of folks. My parents were young thirty-somethings who were in university during the summers and working at entry-level positions at the local boarding school the rest of the year. We had a two bedroom trailer that we called home at the time. Horribly hot summers when the air-conditioning was on the fritz and a horrible cockroach infestation were the nightmares associated with that trailer. My dad and mom may have been making just above minimum-wage at the time while supporting the three of us rugrats (the other two came later).
Years later my dad finished University and bought us a brand new spanking home! Nothing fancy just a three-bedroom, one bath, and no fence home. These homes are part of the housing development agency here on the reservation which is another blog in itself! It was a step-up from the trailer believe me!
These days with all the high gas prices and need for more "things"- I'm thankful this program is still ongoing. My niece, who has absolutely no shame in social settings, proudly proclaims, "I'm getting tribal clothing!!! Yay!"
Gee. I wish I was still eligible for that program!!!
On a totally unrelated note!
Ahem. Ladies!
Go Team USA!!!
;-)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I see a tall, dark, and handsome man coming to your rescue... and he's got money and tons of unconditional love!
I'm all gaga over divine intervention these days. What would it mean if I were to find a thousand dollars in a purse or wallet these days??? I certainly need the money and would have two fierce Tyrenes on my shoulders as I contemplated on keeping it!!! Or if by some miracle I was at the casino and through the hazy smokey ambiance my knight in shining armor would lock eyes with me!
Okay my life's fruition is much more meaningful than landing a man or material things :-P
I KNOW ALL!
I'd like to get moving on my path to success. Success means personal best to myself. That's how I'd like to sum up the word. For reasons unknown I've been having a helluva time doing it! Maybe I'm just picking the wrong horoscopes to read or my Divine chauffeur is on strike.
I don't know.
My father and mother grew up speaking English as a second language and are now both graduates of higher learning. I see that as inspiration to try my best. I also have nieces and nephews who I want to dazzle and motivate! I'm still working on getting to my Union site. Things have come up such as needing to own a vehicle and financial roadblocks. I'm seeing these things as pains-in-the-asses and try to take them in stride. I completed my Iron Working program but actually being able to get to work has been difficult for me. I live a four and a half hour drive from my Union headquarters and times are hard!
I even wrote my Districts Senate rep for help! It may sound ludicrous but desperate times call for desperate measures!
Anyway.
I don't know about them fortune tellers anymore but wonder if they had roadblocks on their path to success. So I wonder if anyone out there may have some suggestions for me. And looting or pillaging is not an option here!!! Nor is pawning my ruby encrusted Spud Wrench!!!
Hmmmm.....
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Ignoramus
As you may or may not know there was a segment about life on the Dine Reservation from Morgan Spurlock on his show "30 Days." The segment from what I saw was about some of the current state of affairs here on the reservation. It may also have just touched upon a minuscule amount of deep seated emotions for non-Navajo people and also hit some situations right on the proverbial "head!"
I mean how many things can you fit into an hour-long segment??!!!
Anyway this guy on the forum said that he's tired of reverse discrimination and must have felt overly sensitive because he felt the show was lambasting anyone non-Navajo. I have to admit I was pissed that people still thought this way. I simmered a bit and felt the need to respond to this guy. I felt like responding with all kinds of crap!
I just reminded myself that Tyrene was somewhat "edu-macated" and SO not an IGNORAMUS!
I'm over being mad and am actually quite amused that this guy feels the way he does. It's amusing because anyone with a sufficient amount of intellect and education would have worded his thoughts more eloquently. He just basically said, "I'm tired of everything in Gallup being about Navajo people and how bad they're treated!" Anyone could have said that and goes to show how much thought he put into this! He did not even cite any reason or give any valid points to back up his "two cents!" From what I saw of the show it was just a show touching upon some concerns that Dine people face "day-in-and-out." There was no "finger pointing" or even audacious "calling out!" All it did was present the living situations we deal with and Morgans experiences with them.
That's all it was plain and simple.
If anyone gets offended by that they need to go move somewhere else! I'm sorry but LOL this is for anyone who doesn't know- the Navajo Nation is bigger than a couple of states and isn't going anywhere! Nor are the people who live here! For your information Dine people aren't living with "silver spoons" in their mouths! I'm struggling like all hell just to make it now. Okay enough wasted energy!
Anyway on to my favorite subject- ME!!! lol Just playing :-P
I'm doing extremely well and just thought I'd vent a little. Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable. Ta ta for now :-) Time to go raise hell and share my thoughts with people.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Pics of School :-)
Here we are in downtown Chicago! This was taken near the NBC studios. It was a nice day because we got away from boring classroom work and got to check downtown out! The first couple of weeks was very classroom oriented and BORING!!! Almost everyone struggled to stay awake for the eight hours we were in class! Doing "hands-on" stuff is WAY better than sitting on your keester for the whole day!
Here is part of my group, The Blue Hats, putting together stairs. For those of you unfamiliar with Ironworking it is a profession divided into specialty areas. Putting together stairs falls into Ornamental work. I'm not too crazy about the hard physical work (and getting all bacon face and sweaty!!!) but am growing to appreciate the benefits. Increased strength, agility, and stamina! So in other words it keeps one in shape!
Oh! I really would love to work on a blog about Natives in the Iron Working field this summer when I get the time so keep an eye out for that one!!!
Bye :-)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Staying in Shape for Werk :-P
I have my letter of completion and an order to report to the Union at which I am designated soon!!! I'm very happy that I'm finished and am going to start finally making some money! For those of you who do not know the conditions on the reservation it's like living on Mars with dial-up internet!
I really want to keep that off!!!
So in an attempt to stay in shape I've asked my relatives if they need any kind of help to ask me. Seriously I could barely cut through one length of wire with a wire cutter when I first started tying rebar. By the end of school I could cut through three with one hand!
Hell yeah :-)
So my dad has a ceremony going on this week and I was asked to help with patching up the ceremonial hogan (which was in bad bad shape) so he could have it there. Of course now that my relatives know that I finished school and am heading to Union they asked me! It's all good considering for it's my Dad and family. I did it, with some help, from my two brothers. I know absolutely nothing about Masonry but learned quickly! Believe me hauling containers of cement and sand is hard. I did hear something by a female Ironworker about how "it doesn't always have to be about muscle." She said "you have to be smart about your work!"
She was right. So my "gray matter" helped me beat a sprained back and much pain. Well I still was sore but it felt good but not in a twisted way lol. I don't play that stuff!
Now I have to hunt for money for "start up." "Start up" is the money I'll need to secure a place to stay, traveling expenses, and my Union dues. The school I was in will pay $175 towards the dues but I need at least 100 dollars more. This will secure my payments for the rest of the year. I basically have to hunt for resources now that, God willing, will help me get to where I need to go and begin work. I am secured a job but the thing is "starting up" funds as I am at twenty dollars right now!
So I'm going to log off now and enjoy some of the spare time I have. I have to make a phone call to the guy who helped get me into the school and see if he has any ideas. I may add some pictures of the work I did soon. I also took major pictures in Chicago but I have not taken the film out yet from ***-Mart! Sorry ***-Mart your name does not get mentioned here unless you help me out with "start up" funds :-P
Have an awesome day guys :-)
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Finally Graduated :-)
Go ahead and laugh :-P
I was always the kind of girl who was the epitome of a bookworm. She constantly read when she could get her dainty little hands on the latest Archie comic. All through school I got decent grades but nothing spectacular. I almost had a rebellion of types going through my formative years because I just wanted to fit in so! Being a nerd was nothing to feel so good about! Up until this point nothing seemed terribly exciting as far as a career went.
I know.
Some of you are saying she's a flakey little "Rez Girl." Yes ladies and gents. She's gone through all kinds of jobs- from McDonalds (triple ERK!) to doing her Nursing Assistant work. Those jobs were both good and bad. I truly did love the hospital work but nothing ever did come out of that. I could have went further in my Nursing but became disenchanted by politics and the constant pleas by Nurses who plead me not to become one. Too much politics they'd tell me! Somewhere between here and there my path led me to consider going to this school in Chicago for such "butch" work! OMG no fucking way! I thought to myself as I heard my brother tell me to apply. His thing was "Hey you're not doing anything anyway! Just go!" Thoughts of North Country and the toppling of Porta-Potties went through my head.
Really!
Queenie Tyrene would just not know what to do if that ever happened to her! Granted we didn't have Porta-Potties at my school but I was the only Transgirl there. Oh I almost forgot to mention that I couldn't even wear makeup to school.
Horrors!
What happened was that it would without fail melt off my face due to the stifling humidity and hard work.
Unh unh.
So much sacrifice for a shot at some sort of decent income. It's a little scary but I am almost a member of a union. I did finish that Ironworking school and got my letter of completion. All I have to do now is go to my assigned union, pay my union dues, and start working. I got some last minute things to do before I report for work, say a thousand prayers, and just do it! Right now I'm enjoying the free time I have at home and yet I'm anxious to get my own place and begin something- uh well anything! So that leaves me here with a need to find that tough girl I saw in that mirror and bring that bitch out again. What do you guys do to pump yourself up? I need a few pointers in this department. Are any of my trans readers in a "butch" job? How do you deal with it? I got a whole month to pump myself up and "woman" up for my job. I'll be a makin-a-sure I check my mail real soon!
Ciao :-)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Just a quick update!
Hope everyone is doing great! I'm now in my sixth week and going on seven week of Ironworking School. We are now done with classroom work and are doing hands on stuff. It's been brutal but a good workout is how I'll describe it. We are learning how to Weld now. We're going to light a torch today and show our instructor how we are supposed to safety check out rig and dismantle it. Cool hunh. Anyway I get very limited internet time and it's almost time for class.
Grrr. lol
Chicago is a great city but the weather is SO "moody!" It was nice yesterday afternoon after class- well warm. Now it's been raining all morning and it's supposed to sleet this weekend. It's good but bad. Especially since I walk to school in the morning! Overall tho it's good.
Oh well. I'll post again very soon. Thanks guys!
Tyrene Banks
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Hey! Fifth week in :-)
Actually it's a big step up!
Were doing transit work now which is a surveying tool. It's cool. I always wondered how those guys who stood behind that binocular looking thing used it. Now I do :-)
So I got to log off now. I have class in a couple of minutes and someones hounding me for the comp. So take care everyone and I'll post again soon.
Ciao!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Hey people :-)
I'm now in Chicago and it's snowing and shit! What's up with that??!!!
I love it here and will miss it when I leave in May. Ironworking school is going along just fine :-)Everyone here is gracious and grand in their own way. It's a long stretch from dirty red dusty trails and poetry :-P
I have major headaches from cramming all the time and just had to read sixty pages of stuff last night. Oh! Not to mention I had to do math for class also. It's tough but she's hanging in there! I have to stress that if you do have a MySpace account add me because I spend more time there than here. Sorry for the delay.
So I got to get ready for that quiz and probably tie more knots and mess around with machinery today. It's different but I have a penchant for trying to figure things out. I get homework everyday and have tons of stuff to study for quizzes the next day so I'm always on my feet or trying to be a mathematics genius here :-P
So on that note I gotta study a little and get some liquids in me. Catch you all later and I will post some pictures of me in the Windy City soon.
That's the mode I gotta get into! Definitely :-)
Ciao!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
New Journey for me :-)
I am going to be writing a new blog just for these curious people and hope you enjoy it! It'll be about my upcoming move to a curious Midwestern City. I've never been as far east as Dallas so this should be interesting. Don't worry I know many of you are dying to know what it's like for a simple reservation Dine (Navajo) to venture into uncharted territory. I can guarantee you that I will keep a journal and update as much as I can!!!
I am one of those people whose mind works very much like Nuclear Fission- It just goes and goes! I suppose it's just a lot of anticipation and mentality that changes as one matures. Not getting older but wiser ;-)
I should also let you know that I will not have a comp with me when I go. I am just a poor Grande Dame now. I have red shoes to click my heels with but they're ever so tired! Whenever my training pays off I'm going to snag meself a laptop ASAP!!! Feel free to leave a comment and if you absolutely cannot wait go to my MySpace link and send me a message. That's one of the first places I check my messages at. Well peeps wish me luck on the journey I'm about to embark on.
Ciao!!!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
El Chicano Chingon y La India Reina
“Where did you learn to speak Spanish?”
It’s something I usually hear accompanied by a wide grin when I say a little word or phrase in Spanish to Hispanic people. The truth is I love learning new things so naturally I checked out a book on Basic Spanish way back when I lived in San Antonio in 95’. It was a necessity then because
When I was but a wee Gelfling Spanish was what I saw on the television or the trips to town where a huge amount of Hispanics live. I knew nothing of it and did not really care to know anything about it! It was just another language and something I didn’t understand. It’s been a long road for me from the vast isolated expanse of the Dine reservation to the rest of the world. For some reason I just seem to click with Hispanic people. I can look back at all the years that I’ve lived so far from home and they were the group of people who took me under their wings many times.
“Mi Hija. Are you hungry?” Hispanic people would ask when I was down-and-out on my luck. At the time I was struggling and could hardly even afford bus fare. I’d wind up getting a meal or even an invitation to the home to eat a good home made dinner! I remember those faces and those people but do not remember their names. I do remember all the friends that gravitated towards me and they were Chicanos. One Chicano friend of mine who was in the Vietnam War always told my friends and I,
“I’ll only go out with
We are both brown. A little grand to say but that’s the way I see it.
I already knew that a lot of Hispanic people were a mixture of Indian and Spanish blood and my friendships with them just made that more apparent and clear. A homeless guy once told me while I was out on the streets panhandling one day he almost always had much unconditional graciousness extended by Hispanic people. I asked him why and he told me that the reason they were more ready to help was because they knew what it was to suffer! I took that line and remembered it because it just made the whole journey my life has taken with my friends more clear.
I wrote a little poem for the special relationship I have with la gente. It’s about a friend who I used to carouse around with who didn’t have to befriend me but chose to. He pretty much spent his life hanging around us down-and-out folks. He had a home and a loving family but liked to spend time with us. I don’t think he even cared that I was a Transgendered girl! I used to have such a grand time with him and he’d back me up if I needed it! He passed away sometime last year and I didn’t find out until I went back to Burque (Albuquerque) to see my friends. It’s not totally finished but it’s something that I want to print here. It’s untitled right now but as time goes on I’ll come back and edit.
[Untitled]
Fists of fury
No man no cry
She found in him
A secret hideaway
A groovy kind of love
Spoken in street corner whispers
and countless unsaid
I knows
He told her one day
High on a five year ride
I got my set. You want one?
Rat-a-tat-tat
Work unfinished
a sign of rebirth and strength
It is a testament to what grand visions
he had beheld of her
She now carries her homeboys name
etched into every cell of her being
From his name on her leg
to the unsaid goodbyes
when he died
She stands the test of time
Her hideaway now in sun
Blue and brown
Chicano and Indian
She will hold her ground
© 2008 Tyrene Banks; except Images
Friday, February 15, 2008
Off Topic- but it's a Friday!!!
So it’s a Friday morning and I’m feeling a tad tired from lack of sleep. I do the usual starting with getting up at the cry of my nephew. He sleeps in his bed not more than four feet from my Posture-breaking Futon 9000. This is usually about seven or when my niece unknowingly wakes him as she’s getting ready for school. She’s just a kid and doesn’t understand how hard it is to take care of her little brother when he’s cranky in the morning. She can be pretty bad too- after all her dad’s a redhead!
I putter around and turn the comp on,
make the little guy some milk or juice, get myself something warm to drink, and go out for a smoke. Yes I smoke and want to quit but it’s the monkey on my back these days.
By the time I get back in he’s done and it’s cold enough to hang meat around the living room. I open up the wood stove, clean it out, toss in the families “unwanted” bills (makes good fire starters), and finally add wood. I also have to do the Hazmat job of cleaning the toxic waste that somehow manages to fill his pampers!
Yes! Kids know how to keep you busy :-P
Argh.
The trick is to breathe through your mouth- not the nose! It worked for me when I worked in a Nursing Home. By then it’s around eight and I’m a wreck! I haven’t changed clothes and look as stylish as a Bingo playing mother with eight kids- driving an old
Woo hoo! I got mail! :-)
Hey! Quit spitting on me! >:-(
While typing I also have to keep an eye on my nephew because he’s a curious little boy trapped in Godzilla’s body with the similar dexterity of G-Zil (my shortened hip name for Godzilla).
That is just a little example of Tyrene’s day- Sheesh! No wonder my single parent friend’s look tired a lot- and don’t wear make-up!
OMG! How Barbaric and un-Sally Struthers!
I know there are people out there who, somehow by the hairs of their chinny chin chins, take care of more kids! I’m talking about the quints and sextets (NO! Not that sex you dirty bird!). :-P In a way I’ve become a Smoke Ninja at multitasking here courtesy of childrearing by default. I’m curious as to how you manage your multitasking??!!! Do you have extra help? Do you pretend to be a piece of furniture hoping the kids don’t know it’s you? I could use more pointers in case I get a stray dog or a Tamagotchi in the near future :-P
*GROAN*
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Just Who Is This Tyrene Banks??!!!
Interesting!
It made me wonder and helped to remind me that I have not had the pleasure of introducing myself properly according to the Dine etiquette. That means stating my clans accompanied with a friendly shake of the hand.
*shake shake*
:-)
I'm not going to go into excruciating complex scientific detail because this is an on-the-fly kind of a blog and I'm kinda lazy this A.M. I have a curiosity though and wouldn't mind taking that D.N.A. test. I may get some shit for it but there are the family tales
which I won't elaborate on here and questions that pique my curiosity. Such as where my family is from, who my relations are, was there a pirate or gypsy in my family, etc. Granted! I just refer to myself as a Navajo but in these whirlwind times of P.C. and other socially conscious identity thing-a-ma-jigs we now call ourself Dine. It also is reassuring to hear Dine instead of a name given by someone else.
F.Y.I. it's not pronounced Dine as in, "Hey! Where in rack-a-frack should we dine at??!!!" No it's Din, as in "the din of things," and "e" is like get without the 'g' and 't.' Come on kids say it after me!
Yes! You got it! *grumbles* 'Bout time! lol.
Anyway I'm straying off the subject here. I can't afford that D.N.A. test and would feel a slight cognitive dissonance if I did take it. However we have an old fashioned method for keeping tabs on our lineage here among my people. It is a clan system. I am going to post my clans for all my Dine friends and curious ppl who know something about them. We have clans to identify what group or family we belong to. It's a very important part of our society so we don't wind up with awful things going awry with chromosomes in the family
and to help point out where an individual is from. So anyway I'm going to post my clans with a link and if you want to become a cat that curiosity just can't get rid of!
Here are my clans:
Maternal: Ma'iideeshgiizhinii- Coyote Pass People - Jemez Clan (Pueblo)
Paternal: Táchii'nii- Red-Running-Into-The-Water Clan
Paternal Grandfather: Tábaa'hí- Water's Edge Clan
Maternal Grandfather: Deeshchii'nii- Start-Of-The-Red-Streaked People
Here is the link to a site that explains this a lot better than I can. *** Click!!!***