Confessions of a Flea Market Rez' Queen

A Desert Yuletide

2011-12-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Almost time for kids faces to light up with delight at theirpresents or frown when Grandpa Harry sends them socks and pencils forChristmas. It is supposed to be winter here in northern Arizona but alas thereis no precipitation of frozen H20 present. So we’re having the equivalent of asouthern Arizona Yuletide- cold and snowless. The cynical side of me says thatthis time of the year is evil incarnate. It breaks peoples banks, makes lonely people even more lonely, yadda yadda yadda. The optimistic side of me is a little aghast at how much I spent but it will be worth it to see faces when they open up their presents. So.... my take on gift giving time is don't be too much of a tightwad...otherwise you may get handed some form of the proverbial "lump of coal."

I was done with my final semester at college around the weekof the 5^th this month. I did well. I got all A’s except for a B in Precalculus. Now the plan is I’ll be leaving for the university in three weeks. I am very excitedabout this! I am a non-traditional student so this will be interesting all over again...just on a different level :)

I have:

Organic Chemistry lecture

Organic Chemistry discussion

Organic Chemistry lab

Calculus I

[and a soon to be filled 3 credit hour course]

I was book hunting since last weekend (still am) and lookslike I have a nice little book bill that I will be faced with. I decided to usemy usual plan and go for online, used, and use member privileges to garner adeal. I found one for my Organic Chem lecture for almost half-off what theschool is charging. Ochem lab books will be purchased from the school. It seemsthat my professor for lab has written two lab books and we will be using herbooks.

I’m off to take anap. I had to take a relative to the hospital late last night and was up allnight until we got home this morning. I did sleep for 3 hours when I got backbut am still tired.

If I know you and you know me then I am probably thinkingabout you. I wish all of you and yours a….

Happy Holidays! Feliz Navidad! Merry Keshmish!

Midterm madness is over...whew!

2011-10-17T23:41:00.000-06:00

Just got done with midterms. I am relieved. Now that the halfway point is here I see my transition to university just right around the corner. So far I have submitted my application and will be doing my transcripts very shortly. I have a transfer counselor as of tonight also :)

I need a car! Seriously. I hate to think about the cost of owning a car but it will be a necessity as I leave the reservation. I will be on my own and the need for some type of transportation seems very likely. It's 11:35pm here and I am reading and taking notes for my Patho class. I was SO SO SO tired this morning I came back after classes and fell asleep. I had a two hour nap which helped out immensely.

Naps= good

My post is very short this time. I'm feeling a little sleepy and will turn in soon. I just want to read another page and then I'm taking my heinee to bed. Nite nite.

Post AS/AA Degree

2011-09-01T20:39:00.002-06:00

Finished my summer classes with superb results. I got As in my Statistics and Human Development classes. I am now in my second week into Fall 2001 and so far very nice and somewhat easier thanthe last three semesters….so far. I will have classes pretty much on Mon, Tues,and Weds only after next week. My jogging instructor (lol we need one forthis?!) has to teach a “Fitness for Life” class as the instructor for thatclass is no longer available to teach it. So we ran today and since I come in alittle late from Precal he gave me the 411. He said that since we don’t have toshow up we will need to keep track of our physical and cardio workouts withworksheets.

You think I have a problem with this??!! Lol.

I do run everyother evening, started pilates, and think I’m pretty active so I think I’ll befine. My precal instructor has also given us the option of having class 2 ½ hoursper day Mon-Wed and not coming in on Thurs…. which brings us up to my soon tobe “super duper cool” schedule.

Mon Tues Wed Thurs

Precalculus Precalculus Precalculus OFF

Pathophysiology OFF Pathophysiology OFF

Also not shown but another class I am taking is a humanitiesclass that is online. It is called “Humanities Through the Arts” and isinteresting. A change of pace and a little wordy but I’ll manage. I think I’llspend a majority of my class work writing papers and posting class discussionresponses for this class.

I <3 <3 <3 this soon to be schedule!

Don’t get me wrong Pathophysiology is pretty hardcore so I’llbe reading for days and looking up videos to give me the layman explanation forsome complex concepts. Precal is well….mathy so hopefully the synapses connectand rewiring in my gray matter optimizes for the language of mathematics!

I received my graduation petition and just need to fill outthe information, pay my petition fee, and I should receive my degrees in themail. I now hold an AS degree in Health Occupations and an AS in Social andBehavioral Sciences as of this past month (August). Not bad considering where Iwas at a couple of years ago. I will keep moving forward and can just repeatwhat my friend Gwen said about the upcoming struggles and hardships we willface as students of science- Bring it on!

The Real Mamma Jamma

2011-05-19T09:38:00.003-06:00

I have some exciting new developments that I'd like to share. First my academics are great so far- straight As across the board. Yep that is for:

Anatomy and Physiology II
General Chemistry II
Nutrition
Microbiology

For those of you new to my blog I had severe doubts about school not that long ago! Now that I'm done with more sciences....there's more to take in the future! I'm excited about this and am studying ahead of time for some classes I wish to take in the future. I've decided to stay with Nursing and do that for awhile and switch over to Biochemistry at a later date. The school I want to go to requires me taking all the sciences (physics, chemistry, and biology), calculus w/analytic geometry, and upper-level major oriented courses.

Yes the road for science is broad and wonderful :)

I have 35 new credit hours of college science courses since I made the decision to return to school in Fall 2009.

Things are moving along now that I've joined a national organization dedicated to Native Americans in higher education :) I recently traveled to compete in a science bowl also. We advanced to the second round but lack of strategy hampered our win. Good stuff and great opportunity to travel. Only drawback was I got behind in my classes and worked like a "mad woman" to get back on track.

Ugh I don't want to go through that anytime soon again!

So now I'm enrolled in two summer courses and have started one online already. Hopefully I can get financial aid as one course is from my current school and the other is from another school. It should go through AFAIK...

*keeping me fingers crossed*

OH and one more thing!!! Does anyone have any suggestions for old school papers??!!! I am collecting quite a bit and losing storage space also! Let me know!!!

Have a great day :) :) :)

Spring Time- 2011

2011-03-15T23:49:00.005-06:00

YAWN!!!

It's late here and I've got a dental cleaning tomorrow. Got to remember to give some extra attention to my teeth tonight! Just want to let everyone know I'm still in school and am taking the second sequence of Gen Chem (Gen Chem II) and Anatomy & Physiology (A&P II).

Yeah that means I passed the first classes :) :):) Gen Chem is slowly revealing it's secrets to me... but it's a tough nut for me to crack. I'm feeling more confident but it's been SO long since I've dealt with moles and natural logs of initial reactions and the first order equations. I'm feeling the challenge and love it! A&P isn't too bad. I just had the ummm... recklessness to take two other sciences also for a grand total of four science classes w/3 labs.

:Groan:

It's awesome to know that I'm making progress so that makes this temporary torture bearable lol. I'm going to take my Statistics and Human Development this summer. Just need Pathophysiology AFAIK to complete my pre-reqs for BSN school after this summer :)

Now here's the clincher. I'm going to take General Organic I and II if it's available this upcoming academic school year. I'm also going to definitely up the ante on my mathematics. I want to get up to Calc II or Calc w/analytical geometry. Yes this means I have a temporary new interest and that is Biochemistry.

This is going to be a year of tough decisions!!! SO GLAD it's spring break for me right now!!! Just got to keep my spirits up and make that guy I have a crush on fall madly in love with me! Sheesh I know. I'm pretty much an independent woman but I got my needs!!! lol.

I'm out. Good night :)

Next Semester....Por Favor :P

2010-12-10T23:13:00.004-07:00

Another semester has gone by so quickly once again. The days of my Blackberry screeching its alarm at 6AM are absent for the time being! It was an interesting experience to live in the school dormitory for a change versus commuting to my classes. The last time I stayed in a dorm was in Job Corps and that was almost over a decade ago!

Grades haven't posted yet but wish me luck!!!

I have a little over a month off of school then it's time to get back to books again. For now I'm just going to chill out and take care of things I could not get to while in school. I really worked my heinee off so if I get a 4.0 then I don't know how I should reward myself.... I've been wanting a smaller laptop but reasonable side of me says the current one will suffice. It's a 14' widescreen laptop and I love it but I've been looking at a 12' widescreen version of what I have and it's definitely appealing. It would also be easier to lug around w/20lbs of Science books!

Here's a tune that I'm going to throw in just because....love it! Have a great night :)

Net Ionic equations....filtering stuffs

2010-10-23T10:05:00.004-06:00

They say that "no pain no gain" is a prerequisite to success.

Wonder if that person took 16 credit hours? School has been great so far and the rewards for working hard make for some warm fuzzy feelings. I have a great set of friends whom I never would have thought I'd get along with. It's definitely different this time around as the kids are in a stage of life where they are away from home. I remember those days and it's definitely strange being the adult this time around.

The classes are pretty easy but Chemistry is something that I will have to work at. The concepts are straightforward but wait! I have Anatomy to study for also...oh and a speech to prepare for! You get the picture. I saw my Doc yesterday and he commended me on my workload and how motivated I was. I was thinking just a couple more months and I'll have a degree- and hopefully have time for a much needed break!

I have four more classes left in order to graduate. Those classes are three science classes and a public health class. I also will take my Statistics class in the summer although a classmate basically told me I was crazy for doing that. Apparently it's a difficult class and would be even more so if crammed into a summer session. If...If I can get through this next semester with at least a B average then Statistics will be a piece of cake :)

If anyone reads this send me a word of encouragement sometimes for real! It might seem insignificant but an "out of the blue" message like that just might come at a time I need it!

2010-08-06T22:10:00.003-06:00

I'm done with my summer session. I get 2 1/2 weeks off which I plan to spend doing minimal things!

I'm hoping that I have a degree by next summer... depends on how much I bust ass this fall and spring! It's a familiar yet old experience that I feel upon returning to the main campus this fall. I had attended this school way way way back... i'm not going to say when b/c I'm sensitive about my age these days >_< Anyhow I've changed... hopefully for the better. I did not take school seriously back then and dropped out with bad grades. Now I have good grades and have pretty much done a 180. I'm pleased with that and believe me when I say it wasn't easy! Just unbelievable amounts of reading, researching, writing, and studying. I was saying school is my full-time job and I stand by that saying! I've gone through some very traumatic things in the past and have been dealing the best way I can with those memories. Sometimes they render me powerless. Sometimes I'm okay. I'm just hoping that these memories don't interfere when I move to University and start a new experience with a different type of academic environment. I know for sure it'll be tough and people will look at this small-town girl and think I'm a Clampett :P This evening and some other evenings I miss the old days. I remember how I used to feel before all the events that changed my life happened to me. I was pretty much fearless. I didn't get scared. I wasn't so indecisive and worried about what other people thought about me. I almost feel like I'm lucky to count how many people I would consider friends on one hand. I feel alone. When I was out partying and hanging out I had guy friends who meant a lot to me over time. One guy in particular would stand up for me and helped me out once in a while. He's gone now due to violence. I sometimes will think of him and remember the time he showed up out of nowhere and saved me from an unsavory situation. I always feel such a tremendous amount of love for him and regret not being there when he was taken. I know it's not my fault but that what if... comes into my mind and I feel like if I had been in the area maybe he would have been with my friends and I instead of that place where he was taken. I can't even say the word k****d because it hurts to even think about it.

I don't know. I think of how my life was back then and how it is now. I just thank my lucky stars I made it out of there alive.

Kinda a venting blog. Rambling too. I just feel I need to do it sometimes. Anyhoo I'm out. I'm going to finish checking on my favorite sites and then finish watching a bit of a potty humor kind of movie to take my mind off things. Have a good night or day wherever you are. I miss you B!

Cellular None- in Rezzie Land

2010-07-05T10:24:00.009-06:00

I am the proud owner of a new-to-me Blackberry 8900.

It is TMobile branded and works with a SIM card. I was very excited in my purchase of this device and was thinking what great ways I could use this as it has a built-in keyboard. Texting and writing covert notes to my classmates came to mind! Little did I know that the signal was crap out here!

In my neck of the desert Cellular One is the owner of every cotton-pickin' cell phone tower out here!

What does this mean??? It means that they have authority over which company they will allow to piggy-back off their towers! My coverage just stinks! For those of you who aren't familiar with the Navajo reservation Cellular One seems to have been picked as the sole cellular provider out here on the reservation. My gripe is I don't want to use Cellular One. I would prefer to have variety and a choice in what cell company I can use in the comfort of my own home! I feel shady politics has a lot to do with giving this cell company such a stranglehold on the cell phone consumer out here.

I'm only keeping the Blackberry for future investment. I should have my AS degree by next May so I'm planning on going on to University in a nearby city. I know they have coverage out there so I'll be keeping it for that. What burns me up is the fact that despite living in a democracy there are no plans in our tribal future to allow more cell companies to set up antennas here. I've looked through the Cellular One website and from what I can tell they don't have any Blackberries there. I see a Nokia E75 and Samsung Jack but I don't have the funds to buy another phone... nor do I want to start a plan!

For other reservation people who may think of getting a WIFI-capable Tmobile Blackberry. There is the ability to run off a service called UMA. This will allow your phone to create an Tmobile connection with your existing WIFI router and allow you to use your phone to make calls, text, etc. That's fine and dandy until you decide to walk about 100 ft away from the router and suddenly you realize your phone has you under house arrest!!!

Come back near the router! You aren't allowed any further!!!

Needless to say I'm disappointed and will leave a message for the Tribal President and Speaker of the Tribe tomorrow regarding the lackluster cell coverage out here!

I'll be here for anyone who has questions on my sitch or is just flabbergasted on the chintzy cell phone state of affairs out here!

a little rant... um actually a big one

2010-06-27T21:05:00.005-06:00

I feel it is someone's duty to inform everyone that MTF transgender come in all shapes, sizes, and mannerisms. Like all girls some of us might have a tad bit of tomboyishness and others might conform to the stereotypes that we do not know what a hammer is and all like the color pink!

The path to reconcile how I feel inside and what the body I'm in is a fucking difficult task! Just like everyone else I have days that I'm bulletproof and other days my hormones are not quite balanced that cause me to cry at the smallest provocation.

Some days I am dismayed when I am called a sir or have someone I know refer to me as a man. That literally just sends daggers into my spirit and I feel myself bleeding to death.

It does get that way sometimes.

My dream is to get my SRS and align how I feel with the vessel I am experiencing this life in. I cannot think of any other way to express the horror I feel when I have to wake up everyday and know that I'm in this body. I don't want to be a f*n princess. I am not girly girly and feel I can make shit happen for myself. That's where I'm at mentally! I like messing around with computers and like science. Does that make it right to place value judgments on me?! I know plenty of uterus-equipped women that like to rumble and tumble with the boys and hold non-traditional jobs that some women would crumble under. Does that make them less woman or not a woman?

I beg of everyone who knows me to quit reminding me about my biological misalignment and show this woman some respect. She's worked her ass off and is trying her best to make her way through this life with some shred of happiness. Thank you.

Need a ride to..... anywhere.

2010-06-25T16:39:00.002-06:00

I’m slowly getting over a cold… argh! I was quite vigilant in my daily running but this has set me back a couple of days. I had a deviated septum repair last month so I think pushing myself so hard has aggravated the area and caused me to get sick! It stinks but I’ll deal. I am relieved that the halfway point is coming up for the semester and that more credits will be added to my graduation checklist. I have certainly been working hard as far as studies go! On a different topic I was online last night and got an email from Amtrak that stated I could get extra points if I made a reservation right away! I got to thinking and wished that I could just get a ticket to Chicago, Los Angeles (LA), San Francisco (San Fran), or New York. I used to live in Chicago and had been to LA and San Fran so that left New York.

Now you’re in New Yoooorrrkk. City where dreams are made of.. there’s nothing you can’t doooo! Now you’re in New York New York Neewww Yooorrrk!

The song by Alicia Keys came to mind immediately. I seriously need some downtime and a getaway for myself! One thing that presents serious consideration is how much money I have in the bank! I think at this point a trip to Albuquerque may be more realistic. I’ve always loved traveling from as far back as I can remember. My dad used to load us up and we’d take off for Tucson, Phoenix, or Albuquerque just because. We did go to Las Vegas (while I was 9 or 10) and Los Angeles (to visit relatives) but that was only once. These days Dad is just about seventy and mom is right behind him so traveling consists of going out to town (Gallup) and occasionally to Albuquerque.

The concept of embarking on a trip alone is a little intimidating but I’m old enough to know when to proceed with caution or what situations I need to stay out of. I am not drinking these days so the lifestyle that comes with that crowd would not be involved. I don’t drug or am not planning some bank heist either!

I admit that school is very important to me right now but I’ve wanted to go out of the country for a long time now. I would like to go to Japan, China, Spain, Italy, Greece, Egypt, the Gobi Desert, and England. My language skills certainly need some expanding and conceptualizing as customs come along with language. The one thing I find motivating me is the local cuisine of other countries. I never did like onions, bell peppers, and all those icky things that I used to pick off of a supreme pizza that someone ordered. Now I love them and almost feel like I want to experience new things… maybe there’s a connection with traveling??? At any rate don’t be surprised if you hear that I am anywhere but here sometime next year or the year after that. One can only wait!

2010-04-18T09:23:00.002-06:00

The sound of spring has waken me this morning. The birds are singing and the temperatures have been heating up steadily over the last week or so. I am almost done with the Spring 2010 session of school. I feel quite content with the way that aspect of my life is going. I will be attending the Summer session this year. I am taking two classes that sound very interesting and am wondering what I can squeeze in for the fall semester.

Let's see. I am 3x years old.. I mean young but I sure don't feel it. I have much on my young mind these days regarding when I should transfer. The school I go to has the classes I need at their main campus while I commute to a satellite center. I do not particularly want to live on the main campus. Been there done that. My other option is to move to the city and take the classes at a different college. The pros would be independence, proximity to school, and establishing a life away from home... sober this time.

I am somewhat shocked that I have won a scholarship. I had been looking at scholarships and grants trying to figure out how I will be able to make it through school. The business woman in me has been making a little money on the side but only enough to pay for the bare necessities.

It's tough!

I saw a bulletin the school had left in my email so I figured why not? I printed out an application and wrote an essay about my future plans and why I could use that scholarship. Pretty much a "no brainer." :)

I recently ran into the man who sent me to Iron Working Training two weeks ago at a local office. I passed a man in the hallway and he sure was staring. I was thinking "Are my boobs that noticeable???" I had a realization and was like, "Hiiii. Mr. X! I'm SO sorry I didn't recognize you."

Yeah. It was an awkward moment. He and I chatted for a minute and apparently the union is still reeling over the recession we had two years ago. I told him I was back in school and am loving it. We shook hands, said our goodbyes, he wished me luck, and parted ways then.

I know. I'm SO serious these days. I suppose encroaching accumulation of years and a need to finish all the things I have started are prompting me. Not being serious would reduce me to a clown... I do not want to be a clown. I think I've already acquired an Ph.D in that field anyway.

I have an appointment this week with two school officials who will grill and fry me.. maybe sautee. I will do my best to be the most congenial and impressionable lady for them!

So that's my State of the Flea Market for now. Happy Sundays people and take care.

Breezy Lady!

2009-10-04T11:03:00.002-06:00

Today is a very blustery day! Where's that bear w/ the red shirt and potbelly???

Sheesh. I forgot my password for this account and I've been very very very busy lately. I've got an all-consuming passion to quickly do something w/ my life and am now attending college.

Yes people. Mizz Banks is higher education diva these days! She's got to show those people that she's more than a statuesque mutton girl! She's got more than reservation rocks in her head lol.

:D

Anyhow. I really was waiting for a job w/my Union. I kept hearing about how there wasn't any need for apprentices here in AZ. A different job landed me doing office work for five months. A pretty nice run for some survival money and time to think. Total time after Iron Working training was going on 10 months w/o any concrete reason to move to Phoenix.

It is very expensive to just pick up and move and there had better be something that pays at the end of the trail!

During my stint w/ office work I began to think that during that 10 month waiting period I could have added more credits to my repertoire. I've got around 50 credit hours and a degree in Nursing seemed like a good idea. I did work as a CNA and Nurse Tech for a couple of years and the availability of jobs appealed to me. It was pretty much a no-brainer after that. I'm now in school and am just taking one pre-req b/c I have other bills to worry about besides school tuition. Hopefully next semester I get some type of assistance and really wouldn't mind taking three courses.

Two at the least.

Personal life is all about stability and recapturing these days. After all the carousing I've done in the past I've slowly begun to find what makes me tick. What makes me scared. What makes me happy. Analyzing and trying to see what will be the best course of action for me to take. I don't like to ask for a lot in this life. I do believe in prayer and "ask and you shall receive" type of stuff so if anyone who reads this has some spare positive energy... please think of me!

I have a Chapter quiz tomorrow and midterms coming up!

Hasta Luego! Agoh i ne eh :)

She's Still Here!

2009-03-12T01:28:00.002-06:00

Hey HO! Land Ho! Scalliwaggers!!!

Yeah I'm not making any sense. It's late and I'm trying to get stuff done before bed. I'm doing fine and am still here on rezzie land. Things are slow these days and I've been looking for a job!

Anyone hiring???

I've been doing the whole homemaking thing for now and am excited that I have my own comp now. Well a laptop actually. I bought this thing used and out of sheer desperation I clicked on the "buy" button. I mean, come on, I'm a gabber and love to type so I needed something to get online and bug people with :P

I now am going to start looking in personals for anyone who needs a roommate. I prefer a room with a view but I'll take anything now! lol.

Let's hope Obama was thinking of a fleamarketrezqueen when he was dreaming of stimulus packages!

Anyhoo. I'm *yawn* tired and am seeing sheep and stars. I've got a date with the sandman now ppl. I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams and a good night.

Tyrene

Four Weeks

2008-09-02T06:43:00.000-06:00

Life has been a long winding road for this gal. She's been blindsided and shoved around but she's still standing. For those of you who don't know Tyrene- she is a proud Transwoman! Life is unexpected and full of surprises. From the moment I wake up and see my nephew to the little treasures in the smiles and twinkle of my close one's eyes. It's a gratifying feeling I wouldn't give up for anything.

Tyrene Banks is a pseudonym. It's no disrespect to the name given me by my parents. I just feel as a woman I should not have a man's name. Translife for me is everything. Yeah it's very hard to be living the life I have but there's a lesson to be learned here. Not too cliche but it's something I've learned in my young 36 years of living.

I have now come to a firm decision. I am going to begin taking my hormones again. With the aid of an anti-androgen I should begin feeling and looking like how I feel inside.

Yes. I'm still going to Iron Work. How the guys handle that is up to them. I haven't started yet but when I do- it could be bad or good.

Good I hope.

Things get crazy sometimes and religion helps me out quite a bit. In all honesty religion is something that I've shied away from most of my life. I do believe that we did not come from nothing. I can't even conceive that we are the byproduct of chance. Religion is what has carried me this far and has helped me retain my santiy through all the crazy shit Transwomen go through.

I haven't been writing as much as I had hoped lately. I'm busy busy busy with moving forward with my life and really haven't had the time to sit down and actually continue writing. I have not given up on the books I am working on- but with my latest jaunts I have more things and experiences to enrich my palette..er keyboard with :-)

He he he. Change of topic but I still get a little "ga ga" over handsome men and will stick my foot in my mouth but that's just me. I'm young at heart is my excuse :-P

So for those of you who know me and would like to help this woman through her mood swings- add me on Yahoo messenger. I don't use MySpace IM. My Yahoo addy is tyreeluvztrance@yahoo.com.

Freebies? Gratis? Why not??!!!

2008-08-12T20:33:00.003-06:00

Being a kid on the reservation for me was a funny time when potty humor and Atari was all the rage! Growing up on the reservation, of course, is a little different.... well a lot different than other areas. I remember going off the reservation with my mom to the University in Flagstaff and having friends of other races and loving it! I loved it because the white kids seemed to have rich parents and had all the latest games and computers (Commodore 64 games). Other kids I met talked different and were "wild in the streets!"

It was just a fun time :-)

By the time I was getting a roller-coaster routine down my mom was done with summer courses and it was school time. Around this time everyone needed new clothes!!! Luckily for us poor Dine kids there was a Tribal Government Ration Santa!

Tribal Clothing!!!

There was something about those days when the words Tribal Clothing floated around school. Getting tribal clothing could be used to make fun of people and their disadvantaged economic backgrounds (having material things and rich parents were all the rage back then; sad but true). Tribal Clothing were donations of clothing that were dispersed throughout the various school districts on Dine-land. They were then handed out to students with the economic demographics that warranted assistance- which was almost everyone!

Come on now! Anytime you get free clothing is cool!!! However tribal clothing time could also be a time you would cross your fingers and pray that you didn't get anything "uncool." The plastic bags the clothes came in were the clear 30 gallon size janitor specials! There were the occasional teasings because someone had underwear visible from the bags!

"Ewww. Her panties are showing!!!"

"Look she got hamburger shoes!!! Ha ha ha" Of course no one was immune from the teasings because it was a mixed-bag of luck when it came to what you got! Hamburger shoes were generic brown dress shoes. They were cheap and lo and behold this is what I found while cleaning out the house this past weekend!

Sometimes you would get lucky and get the now "fucking awesome" Converses and the (anyone member these???) Kangaroos. The Kangaroos were nifty and groundbreaking cuz' they had a pocket with a zipper on em'! I loved those shoes!!!

Tribal Clothing was a godsend to parents in the early days of the Navajo Nation. The Seventies, when I was a little girl, were rough times for a lot of folks. My parents were young thirty-somethings who were in university during the summers and working at entry-level positions at the local boarding school the rest of the year. We had a two bedroom trailer that we called home at the time. Horribly hot summers when the air-conditioning was on the fritz and a horrible cockroach infestation were the nightmares associated with that trailer. My dad and mom may have been making just above minimum-wage at the time while supporting the three of us rugrats (the other two came later).

Years later my dad finished University and bought us a brand new spanking home! Nothing fancy just a three-bedroom, one bath, and no fence home. These homes are part of the housing development agency here on the reservation which is another blog in itself! It was a step-up from the trailer believe me!

These days with all the high gas prices and need for more "things"- I'm thankful this program is still ongoing. My niece, who has absolutely no shame in social settings, proudly proclaims, "I'm getting tribal clothing!!! Yay!"

Gee. I wish I was still eligible for that program!!!

On a totally unrelated note!

Ahem. Ladies!

Go Team USA!!!

;-)

2008-08-03T07:07:00.002-06:00

Okay I'm over Ignoramus. It didn't take me long to see the light in that situation. I was going over my Yahoo site tweaking my page when I ran across the horoscope section.

I see a tall, dark, and handsome man coming to your rescue... and he's got money and tons of unconditional love!

It said. lol. No it didn't say that but that'd be nice!!!

I'm all gaga over divine intervention these days. What would it mean if I were to find a thousand dollars in a purse or wallet these days??? I certainly need the money and would have two fierce Tyrenes on my shoulders as I contemplated on keeping it!!! Or if by some miracle I was at the casino and through the hazy smokey ambiance my knight in shining armor would lock eyes with me!

Okay my life's fruition is much more meaningful than landing a man or material things :-P

I KNOW ALL!

I'd like to get moving on my path to success. Success means personal best to myself. That's how I'd like to sum up the word. For reasons unknown I've been having a helluva time doing it! Maybe I'm just picking the wrong horoscopes to read or my Divine chauffeur is on strike.

I don't know.

My father and mother grew up speaking English as a second language and are now both graduates of higher learning. I see that as inspiration to try my best. I also have nieces and nephews who I want to dazzle and motivate! I'm still working on getting to my Union site. Things have come up such as needing to own a vehicle and financial roadblocks. I'm seeing these things as pains-in-the-asses and try to take them in stride. I completed my Iron Working program but actually being able to get to work has been difficult for me. I live a four and a half hour drive from my Union headquarters and times are hard!

I even wrote my Districts Senate rep for help! It may sound ludicrous but desperate times call for desperate measures!

Anyway.

I don't know about them fortune tellers anymore but wonder if they had roadblocks on their path to success. So I wonder if anyone out there may have some suggestions for me. And looting or pillaging is not an option here!!! Nor is pawning my ruby encrusted Spud Wrench!!!

Hmmmm.....

Ignoramus

2008-07-12T10:06:00.002-06:00

These are the "dog days of summer!" It's been somewhat hot here on Dine-land. For people who are not Navajo- Dine is how we identify ourselves. Anyway it hasn't been extremely hot but is uncomfortable enough to keep our A/C on quite a bit. I just got off a newsletter website geared toward people who reside within earshot of a certain New Mexico town and am dismayed. I don't like to become too "emo' about things but there are certain times when I cannot keep my mouth shut! I had every intention of posting an update on me but "selective ignorance" on the part of some chuckle-head compels me to write and post my thoughts.

As you may or may not know there was a segment about life on the Dine Reservation from Morgan Spurlock on his show "30 Days." The segment from what I saw was about some of the current state of affairs here on the reservation. It may also have just touched upon a minuscule amount of deep seated emotions for non-Navajo people and also hit some situations right on the proverbial "head!"

I mean how many things can you fit into an hour-long segment??!!!

Anyway this guy on the forum said that he's tired of reverse discrimination and must have felt overly sensitive because he felt the show was lambasting anyone non-Navajo. I have to admit I was pissed that people still thought this way. I simmered a bit and felt the need to respond to this guy. I felt like responding with all kinds of crap!

I just reminded myself that Tyrene was somewhat "edu-macated" and SO not an IGNORAMUS!

I'm over being mad and am actually quite amused that this guy feels the way he does. It's amusing because anyone with a sufficient amount of intellect and education would have worded his thoughts more eloquently. He just basically said, "I'm tired of everything in Gallup being about Navajo people and how bad they're treated!" Anyone could have said that and goes to show how much thought he put into this! He did not even cite any reason or give any valid points to back up his "two cents!" From what I saw of the show it was just a show touching upon some concerns that Dine people face "day-in-and-out." There was no "finger pointing" or even audacious "calling out!" All it did was present the living situations we deal with and Morgans experiences with them.

That's all it was plain and simple.

If anyone gets offended by that they need to go move somewhere else! I'm sorry but LOL this is for anyone who doesn't know- the Navajo Nation is bigger than a couple of states and isn't going anywhere! Nor are the people who live here! For your information Dine people aren't living with "silver spoons" in their mouths! I'm struggling like all hell just to make it now. Okay enough wasted energy!

Anyway on to my favorite subject- ME!!! lol Just playing :-P

I'm doing extremely well and just thought I'd vent a little. Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable. Ta ta for now :-) Time to go raise hell and share my thoughts with people.

Pics of School :-)

2008-06-06T06:34:00.005-06:00

Here are two pics of Ironworking School.

Here we are in downtown Chicago! This was taken near the NBC studios. It was a nice day because we got away from boring classroom work and got to check downtown out! The first couple of weeks was very classroom oriented and BORING!!! Almost everyone struggled to stay awake for the eight hours we were in class! Doing "hands-on" stuff is WAY better than sitting on your keester for the whole day!

Here is part of my group, The Blue Hats, putting together stairs. For those of you unfamiliar with Ironworking it is a profession divided into specialty areas. Putting together stairs falls into Ornamental work. I'm not too crazy about the hard physical work (and getting all bacon face and sweaty!!!) but am growing to appreciate the benefits. Increased strength, agility, and stamina! So in other words it keeps one in shape!

I am going to post a link here for people who read this and am interested in the program. It's a great stepping stone for Native Americans like myself who are in desperate need of money and just can't afford higher education yet! This is the link Ironworking School for Native Americans The site has changed from the last time I looked at it. So if you have any questions please ask me. I have other info but am sorta in a rush right now. Have a great day guys!

Oh! I really would love to work on a blog about Natives in the Iron Working field this summer when I get the time so keep an eye out for that one!!!

Bye :-)

Staying in Shape for Werk :-P

2008-05-21T13:18:00.001-06:00

So here I am back home and done with class. I'm really enjoying the freedom of not having to wake up at 5 in the morning and spend all day with "Snout!"

I'll elaborate on that one later :-)

I have my letter of completion and an order to report to the Union at which I am designated soon!!! I'm very happy that I'm finished and am going to start finally making some money! For those of you who do not know the conditions on the reservation it's like living on Mars with dial-up internet!

lol. No! It's not that bad but the job opportunities here are deplorable. Anyway I'm straying from my title- ever since I got worked over by steel at school I lost some weight where I needed to! I gained muscle instead and lost the "pouch." The "pouch" is that stubborn little area of fat that lay on my abdomen.

I really want to keep that off!!!

So in an attempt to stay in shape I've asked my relatives if they need any kind of help to ask me. Seriously I could barely cut through one length of wire with a wire cutter when I first started tying rebar. By the end of school I could cut through three with one hand!

Hell yeah :-)

So my dad has a ceremony going on this week and I was asked to help with patching up the ceremonial hogan (which was in bad bad shape) so he could have it there. Of course now that my relatives know that I finished school and am heading to Union they asked me! It's all good considering for it's my Dad and family. I did it, with some help, from my two brothers. I know absolutely nothing about Masonry but learned quickly! Believe me hauling containers of cement and sand is hard. I did hear something by a female Ironworker about how "it doesn't always have to be about muscle." She said "you have to be smart about your work!"

She was right. So my "gray matter" helped me beat a sprained back and much pain. Well I still was sore but it felt good but not in a twisted way lol. I don't play that stuff!

Now I have to hunt for money for "start up." "Start up" is the money I'll need to secure a place to stay, traveling expenses, and my Union dues. The school I was in will pay $175 towards the dues but I need at least 100 dollars more. This will secure my payments for the rest of the year. I basically have to hunt for resources now that, God willing, will help me get to where I need to go and begin work. I am secured a job but the thing is "starting up" funds as I am at twenty dollars right now!

So I'm going to log off now and enjoy some of the spare time I have. I have to make a phone call to the guy who helped get me into the school and see if he has any ideas. I may add some pictures of the work I did soon. I also took major pictures in Chicago but I have not taken the film out yet from ***-Mart! Sorry ***-Mart your name does not get mentioned here unless you help me out with "start up" funds :-P

Have an awesome day guys :-)

Finally Graduated :-)

2008-05-18T07:18:00.000-06:00

I once caught a glimpse of a tough girl- she stood resplendent in her hardhat and a spudwrench in her hand. No fear in her at all she stared at me from the mirror as I got ready for the day. I wasn't the least bit shocked it just seemed like another day. It happened in a dream I had as the day drew near for my foray into Ironworking School. It was a far stretch from anything I've done and almost seemed like a death wish.

Go ahead and laugh :-P

I was always the kind of girl who was the epitome of a bookworm. She constantly read when she could get her dainty little hands on the latest Archie comic. All through school I got decent grades but nothing spectacular. I almost had a rebellion of types going through my formative years because I just wanted to fit in so! Being a nerd was nothing to feel so good about! Up until this point nothing seemed terribly exciting as far as a career went.

I know.

Some of you are saying she's a flakey little "Rez Girl." Yes ladies and gents. She's gone through all kinds of jobs- from McDonalds (triple ERK!) to doing her Nursing Assistant work. Those jobs were both good and bad. I truly did love the hospital work but nothing ever did come out of that. I could have went further in my Nursing but became disenchanted by politics and the constant pleas by Nurses who plead me not to become one. Too much politics they'd tell me! Somewhere between here and there my path led me to consider going to this school in Chicago for such "butch" work! OMG no fucking way! I thought to myself as I heard my brother tell me to apply. His thing was "Hey you're not doing anything anyway! Just go!" Thoughts of North Country and the toppling of Porta-Potties went through my head.

Really!

Queenie Tyrene would just not know what to do if that ever happened to her! Granted we didn't have Porta-Potties at my school but I was the only Transgirl there. Oh I almost forgot to mention that I couldn't even wear makeup to school.

Horrors!

What happened was that it would without fail melt off my face due to the stifling humidity and hard work.

Unh unh.

So much sacrifice for a shot at some sort of decent income. It's a little scary but I am almost a member of a union. I did finish that Ironworking school and got my letter of completion. All I have to do now is go to my assigned union, pay my union dues, and start working. I got some last minute things to do before I report for work, say a thousand prayers, and just do it! Right now I'm enjoying the free time I have at home and yet I'm anxious to get my own place and begin something- uh well anything! So that leaves me here with a need to find that tough girl I saw in that mirror and bring that bitch out again. What do you guys do to pump yourself up? I need a few pointers in this department. Are any of my trans readers in a "butch" job? How do you deal with it? I got a whole month to pump myself up and "woman" up for my job. I'll be a makin-a-sure I check my mail real soon!

Ciao :-)

Just a quick update!

2008-04-10T11:49:00.001-06:00

Hey guys :-)

Hope everyone is doing great! I'm now in my sixth week and going on seven week of Ironworking School. We are now done with classroom work and are doing hands on stuff. It's been brutal but a good workout is how I'll describe it. We are learning how to Weld now. We're going to light a torch today and show our instructor how we are supposed to safety check out rig and dismantle it. Cool hunh. Anyway I get very limited internet time and it's almost time for class.

Grrr. lol

Chicago is a great city but the weather is SO "moody!" It was nice yesterday afternoon after class- well warm. Now it's been raining all morning and it's supposed to sleet this weekend. It's good but bad. Especially since I walk to school in the morning! Overall tho it's good.

Oh well. I'll post again very soon. Thanks guys!

Tyrene Banks

Hey! Fifth week in :-)

2008-04-03T06:28:00.000-06:00

Well guys- I've been in the program for five weeks now. It's moving along at a steady pace. We're finally done with a lot of the textbook stuff and will be doing more hands-on-things now. Which is great! Our ultimate goal is to tear down a two story steel framework and erect it later. I'm excited and can't wait for graduation soon! I don't know about doing this for a life career but it's a step-up from minimum wage and doing Certified Nursing Assistant work :-)

Actually it's a big step up!

Not to sound so greedy but I need cash! I got some bills I got to pay and would like to buy new clothes. This Diva is in bag lady mode now. I do get paid for my training but it all goes to rent. Bah @ rent!

Were doing transit work now which is a surveying tool. It's cool. I always wondered how those guys who stood behind that binocular looking thing used it. Now I do :-)

So I got to log off now. I have class in a couple of minutes and someones hounding me for the comp. So take care everyone and I'll post again soon.

Ciao!

Hey people :-)

2008-03-21T06:37:00.000-06:00

I was going to originally write out a blog but I'm running out of paper!

I'm now in Chicago and it's snowing and shit! What's up with that??!!!

I love it here and will miss it when I leave in May. Ironworking school is going along just fine :-)Everyone here is gracious and grand in their own way. It's a long stretch from dirty red dusty trails and poetry :-P

I have major headaches from cramming all the time and just had to read sixty pages of stuff last night. Oh! Not to mention I had to do math for class also. It's tough but she's hanging in there! I have to stress that if you do have a MySpace account add me because I spend more time there than here. Sorry for the delay.

So I got to get ready for that quiz and probably tie more knots and mess around with machinery today. It's different but I have a penchant for trying to figure things out. I get homework everyday and have tons of stuff to study for quizzes the next day so I'm always on my feet or trying to be a mathematics genius here :-P

So on that note I gotta study a little and get some liquids in me. Catch you all later and I will post some pictures of me in the Windy City soon.

That's the mode I gotta get into! Definitely :-)

Ciao!

New Journey for me :-)

2008-02-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

I was just passing through and saw more readers had come by and visited my page! I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't excited- I WAS!

I am going to be writing a new blog just for these curious people and hope you enjoy it! It'll be about my upcoming move to a curious Midwestern City. I've never been as far east as Dallas so this should be interesting. Don't worry I know many of you are dying to know what it's like for a simple reservation Dine (Navajo) to venture into uncharted territory. I can guarantee you that I will keep a journal and update as much as I can!!!

I am one of those people whose mind works very much like Nuclear Fission- It just goes and goes! I suppose it's just a lot of anticipation and mentality that changes as one matures. Not getting older but wiser ;-)

I should also let you know that I will not have a comp with me when I go. I am just a poor Grande Dame now. I have red shoes to click my heels with but they're ever so tired! Whenever my training pays off I'm going to snag meself a laptop ASAP!!! Feel free to leave a comment and if you absolutely cannot wait go to my MySpace link and send me a message. That's one of the first places I check my messages at. Well peeps wish me luck on the journey I'm about to embark on.

Ciao!!!

El Chicano Chingon y La India Reina

2008-02-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

“Where did you learn to speak Spanish?”

It’s something I usually hear accompanied by a wide grin when I say a little word or phrase in Spanish to Hispanic people. The truth is I love learning new things so naturally I checked out a book on Basic Spanish way back when I lived in San Antonio in 95’. It was a necessity then because San Antonio is Hispanic town. That really didn’t do a lot of good considering I didn’t have anyone pronounce the words correctly for me except for my neighbor. He was a flaky guy and was usually angry about something so I never really bothered to ask him for help. These days I’m not fluent but I can pick up the gist of a Spanish conversation and carry on a fragmented conversation in Spanglish.

When I was but a wee Gelfling Spanish was what I saw on the television or the trips to town where a huge amount of Hispanics live. I knew nothing of it and did not really care to know anything about it! It was just another language and something I didn’t understand. It’s been a long road for me from the vast isolated expanse of the Dine reservation to the rest of the world. For some reason I just seem to click with Hispanic people. I can look back at all the years that I’ve lived so far from home and they were the group of people who took me under their wings many times.

“Mi Hija. Are you hungry?” Hispanic people would ask when I was down-and-out on my luck. At the time I was struggling and could hardly even afford bus fare. I’d wind up getting a meal or even an invitation to the home to eat a good home made dinner! I remember those faces and those people but do not remember their names. I do remember all the friends that gravitated towards me and they were Chicanos. One Chicano friend of mine who was in the Vietnam War always told my friends and I,

“I’ll only go out with India’s and Chicana’s.” There seemed to be a bond that I shared with these people that went beyond sharing the same color skin.

We are both brown. A little grand to say but that’s the way I see it.

I already knew that a lot of Hispanic people were a mixture of Indian and Spanish blood and my friendships with them just made that more apparent and clear. A homeless guy once told me while I was out on the streets panhandling one day he almost always had much unconditional graciousness extended by Hispanic people. I asked him why and he told me that the reason they were more ready to help was because they knew what it was to suffer! I took that line and remembered it because it just made the whole journey my life has taken with my friends more clear.

I wrote a little poem for the special relationship I have with la gente. It’s about a friend who I used to carouse around with who didn’t have to befriend me but chose to. He pretty much spent his life hanging around us down-and-out folks. He had a home and a loving family but liked to spend time with us. I don’t think he even cared that I was a Transgendered girl! I used to have such a grand time with him and he’d back me up if I needed it! He passed away sometime last year and I didn’t find out until I went back to Burque (Albuquerque) to see my friends. It’s not totally finished but it’s something that I want to print here. It’s untitled right now but as time goes on I’ll come back and edit.

[Untitled]

Fists of fury

No man no cry

She found in him

A secret hideaway

A groovy kind of love

Spoken in street corner whispers

and countless unsaid

I knows

He told her one day

High on a five year ride

I got my set. You want one?

Rat-a-tat-tat

Work unfinished

a sign of rebirth and strength

It is a testament to what grand visions

he had beheld of her

She now carries her homeboys name

etched into every cell of her being

From his name on her leg

to the unsaid goodbyes

when he died

She stands the test of time

Her hideaway now in sun

Blue and brown

Chicano and Indian

She will hold her ground

Off Topic- but it's a Friday!!!

2008-02-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

So it’s a Friday morning and I’m feeling a tad tired from lack of sleep. I do the usual starting with getting up at the cry of my nephew. He sleeps in his bed not more than four feet from my Posture-breaking Futon 9000. This is usually about seven or when my niece unknowingly wakes him as she’s getting ready for school. She’s just a kid and doesn’t understand how hard it is to take care of her little brother when he’s cranky in the morning. She can be pretty bad too- after all her dad’s a redhead!

I putter around and turn the comp on,

make the little guy some milk or juice, get myself something warm to drink, and go out for a smoke. Yes I smoke and want to quit but it’s the monkey on my back these days.

Ain't I a Cute Habit??!!!

By the time I get back in he’s done and it’s cold enough to hang meat around the living room. I open up the wood stove, clean it out, toss in the families “unwanted” bills (makes good fire starters), and finally add wood. I also have to do the Hazmat job of cleaning the toxic waste that somehow manages to fill his pampers!

Yes! Kids know how to keep you busy :-P

Argh.

The trick is to breathe through your mouth- not the nose! It worked for me when I worked in a Nursing Home. By then it’s around eight and I’m a wreck! I haven’t changed clothes and look as stylish as a Bingo playing mother with eight kids- driving an old Plymouth station wagon with rollers in her hair! I will then alternate running between the computer and the kitchen where my breakfast is cooking and feeding my nephew.

Woo hoo! I got mail! :-)

Hey! Quit spitting on me! >:-(

While typing I also have to keep an eye on my nephew because he’s a curious little boy trapped in Godzilla’s body with the similar dexterity of G-Zil (my shortened hip name for Godzilla).

That is just a little example of Tyrene’s day- Sheesh! No wonder my single parent friend’s look tired a lot- and don’t wear make-up!

OMG! How Barbaric and un-Sally Struthers!

I literally praise every known deity by the time my shift with the kids is done! I’m SO glad I’ll be going back to work real soon and will be living on my own also- HOOFUCKINGRAH! I do have a definite date now and will just sit here in the meantime with a permanent frozen look of I Don’t Give a Crap I’m Audi Anyway on my face!

I know there are people out there who, somehow by the hairs of their chinny chin chins, take care of more kids! I’m talking about the quints and sextets (NO! Not that sex you dirty bird!). :-P In a way I’ve become a Smoke Ninja at multitasking here courtesy of childrearing by default. I’m curious as to how you manage your multitasking??!!! Do you have extra help? Do you pretend to be a piece of furniture hoping the kids don’t know it’s you? I could use more pointers in case I get a stray dog or a Tamagotchi in the near future :-P

Feed me or your a bad mommy!!! Wahhh!!!

*GROAN*

Just Who Is This Tyrene Banks??!!!

2008-02-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

I read an article recently about how scientists can determine your ethnic makeup by D.N.A.

Interesting!

It made me wonder and helped to remind me that I have not had the pleasure of introducing myself properly according to the Dine etiquette. That means stating my clans accompanied with a friendly shake of the hand.

*shake shake*

:-)

I'm not going to go into excruciating complex scientific detail because this is an on-the-fly kind of a blog and I'm kinda lazy this A.M. I have a curiosity though and wouldn't mind taking that D.N.A. test. I may get some shit for it but there are the family tales

which I won't elaborate on here and questions that pique my curiosity. Such as where my family is from, who my relations are, was there a pirate or gypsy in my family, etc. Granted! I just refer to myself as a Navajo but in these whirlwind times of P.C. and other socially conscious identity thing-a-ma-jigs we now call ourself Dine. It also is reassuring to hear Dine instead of a name given by someone else.

F.Y.I. it's not pronounced Dine as in, "Hey! Where in rack-a-frack should we dine at??!!!" No it's Din, as in "the din of things," and "e" is like get without the 'g' and 't.' Come on kids say it after me!

Yes! You got it! *grumbles* 'Bout time! lol.

Anyway I'm straying off the subject here. I can't afford that D.N.A. test and would feel a slight cognitive dissonance if I did take it. However we have an old fashioned method for keeping tabs on our lineage here among my people. It is a clan system. I am going to post my clans for all my Dine friends and curious ppl who know something about them. We have clans to identify what group or family we belong to. It's a very important part of our society so we don't wind up with awful things going awry with chromosomes in the family

and to help point out where an individual is from. So anyway I'm going to post my clans with a link and if you want to become a cat that curiosity just can't get rid of!

Here are my clans:

Maternal: Ma'iideeshgiizhinii- Coyote Pass People - Jemez Clan (Pueblo)

Paternal: Táchii'nii- Red-Running-Into-The-Water Clan

Paternal Grandfather: Tábaa'hí- Water's Edge Clan

Maternal Grandfather: Deeshchii'nii- Start-Of-The-Red-Streaked People

Here is the link to a site that explains this a lot better than I can. *** Click!!!***

Chinle, Fandom, and Beautiful Rugs

2007-12-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

Set amidst the gorgeous earthy tapestry of a high desert and low mountain backdrop is Chinle. Chinle is a small reservation town where many people from my community, including yours truly, went to school. The town itself began as a trading post back in 1882 and has steadily grown into the little town that is growing at a slow pace. There are a couple of stores, schools, churches, a hospital, various tribal government offices, and U.S. government offices situated there. It is also a tourist stop for many people who come to vist the reservation. Local tourist attractions include Canyon de Chelly located right on the outskirts of town and the beautiful valleys and vistas located around the area.There were talks of opening up a casino in the area but I have not heard anymore news on this.

The town itself, in the way of entertainment, revolves around the school sports teams. I remember before the new sports stadium was built there was only a small gym used from political campaigning to country dances. The gym, Chinle Community Center, was also the hotbed for the High School basketball games which are favorites during the fall season. Sold out games and long lines were nothing new to fans. There's just something about a small reservation school making it against all the big state teams at the state championships. People are known to drive to all the "away" games religiously and even if the Wildcats do not make it to states then people will go to root for any Navajo team playing :-)

Back in the fifties there was no public school. The schools were operated under the guidelines of the United States Federal Government. "Manifest Destiny" had not been but a "pipe dream." The use of native language was not permitted and was swiftly punished with such tactics as the "soap in the mouth" routine. Like any underdog we prevailed and today the Navajo language is heard everywhere including the radio stations here on the reservation. Now there is an kindergarten, primary, elementary, and high school there. I also know they have college courses in the high school during the evening hours where Dine (Navajo) language is taught. The written language is a mixture of dipthongs, glottal stops, and other complex rules of syntax.

In other words it's difficult!

Try saying that one!

For any curious listeners here is a link to our Navajo Radio Station.There's streaming radio :-)

Development of any kind has been slow around Chinle. There are many legal and land snafus that hinder faster development. There simply also is worry of what is becoming the inevitable- the population is booming and land will soon be scarce. There are so many individuals in this country of ours and as a result more of our young ladies and men are marrying into other races, tribes, and nationalities. This sometimes brings non-Navajos to live among us. I guess logic dictates that if you have a huge percentage of young people there is going to be an exponential explosion in population in the next generation. Does that make sense? It raises a lot of questions and ruminations on the whole issue of sovereignty also.

Many people who come to Chinle are in shock when they see how an "third world" living condition still exists. Yes we still have hogans and shacks but as a young developing Nation we are steadily seeing the benefits of better education and perseverance in young people today. I figure it has to do with the pride young people are taking in themselves and the backlash of the Boarding School days.

You try and deny anyone anything and they'll just find another way to get it.

Navajos have the will to survive and are getting the "know how" on a better way of doing it.

Hogans are octagonal shaped homes that are designed with a major harmony philosophy (iina). We build the home with the door facing east because the sun rises from the east. Now that the advent of modern shoe box homes has come a lot of people don't have eastern facing doors. It's something that has taken a new precedence in the last few years I've noticed. People specifically want their homes to mimic the old philosophy of eastern facing doors. Just take a look at the Navajo family (congratulations guys! You deserve it :-) that got their home built by Ty Pennington and the guys of Extreme Home Makeover- eastern facing doors. I don't live in an Hogan but have spent some nights in one. Of course I wanted to go back to our trailer because I missed the television, electricity, and running water. I can't help it. I get scared to go out to an outhouse after watching all the cliche scary movies!

Horse drawn carriages were often used back in the fifties since just about everyone didn't have the means to buy a vehicle. The Nation, being so young and illiterate, had no way of integrating itself into the vast domain of politics, business, and legal matters. Poverty levels were unimaginable, written records had now just been getting organized, and mass communication was nil. The "smoke signals" were done by word of mouth and/or the little radios often found in Grammys' hogan. Telephones were mainly located in the bigger towns at trading posts and at shopping centers.

Technology is changing the very fabric of the Nation. However there is a certain amount of mistrust between the "keyboard" and some older folks like my Mom and Dad. The generation gap is prevalent in my home. My parents, an old-fashioned people, who I love dearly, who will gladly watch television but refuse to have anything to do with the internet. Old fashioned ideals are a good thing. Nothing wrong with them. It's my generation (some call it Generation X) that are given the responsibility to spearhead the vast amounts of information and use it to make us whole again.

Chinle also happens to be the birthplace of a type of rug popular among collectors. From what I read the different style of rug (no borders) and a new vegetable dye propelled the Navajo rugs into Americans homes. The rugs are a sign o' the times- from the type of material, the origin of the yarn, and the influence of popular culture. The rugs continue to be made with great success and skills are handed down mother to daughter. Grammy to Grand-Daughter. My mom has a loom in the back of the house which she used to weave rugs with. It's a beautiful thing that takes patience, discipline, and determination. I have seen some rugs that my mom made and they are quite beautiful. I'll dig up some old pictures of them and post them here for all to gaze upon. She's long since sold them and has a strong desire to do more.

Three of Moms Rugs <<<333

The 50's Walk: Mom's School Days

2007-11-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

The loose dirt came off in small clouds as she trudged along the dirt road. Her black dress shoes left tiny trails on the dirt road- the only tracks made by shoes on a lonely road. My mother, Sadie, made her evening trek back home after getting off her school bus. The clouds had been thickening lately as fall weather arrived. They were a spatter of thick bulbuous purple and white that contrasted nicely against the palette of red, rust, white, and yellow of the desert.The breeze picked up as debris flew to and fro chipping away at the landscape. Sadie sometimes had to walk four miles to get to her school bus in the mornings and to get home after school. Now that winter had arrived the light angled from the southwest and made daylight scarce.

It was getting late.

She dug her small hands into her coat pocket and tightened her small body hoping that would keep her warm. The days were getting shorter and nightfall would be coming earlier every evening. My great Aunt Anna and grandmother Sara would be either at the small woodburning stove preparing dinner or listening to the radio as they chatted and waited for her. Her Stepfather Sam would be out and about running errands or letting the sheep graze. The small octagonal home, composed of logs, dirt, chicken-wire, and plaster, would be their defense against the blustery cold winter winds.

March. March. March.

The winds whistling through Juniper branches and the occasional bark of a distant dog were all that kept my mother company this evening. Sadie looked forward to a little dinner which most likely would be Frybread, mutton, and potatoes. She often thought of her family that had become scattered the past few years. Soon the old Ford truck that took her family places would be put through it's paces as the multi-colored silt clay transformed into a thick congealed mess of a trail. It wouldn't even be a road then. Hopefully the old white truck would make it through the season! If it didn't then the old green wooden wagon would be put to use.

Winters in these parts of the reservation were a disaster. The lack of a paved road meant that her brand new shoes would be getting muddy as would the clothes that hung low to the ground. The nearest place to get clothing was in Chinle where Sadie went to school. Chinle was a small town sixteen miles away. It has since then become a Mecca for tourists because of the Canyons there and proximity to other natural wonders on Navajoland. It has also grown a bit.

A sound of an approaching truck ushered Sadie to the side of the dirt road as she anxiously picked up her pace. There was no telling if that person would be a relative or a family member. Her beige skirt swept along the scattered mess of twig, dirt, and gravel while the truck slowly passed her. Sadie did not know who that person was as it went over a small hill and left a billowing cloud of dirt. It was not the families truck. The old truck must be acting up or someone went out.

The last rays of light began to fade into the horizon as a field mouse scurried alongside some brush- no doubt getting ready for the winter also. The colder weather would usher in winter ceremonies and a decrease in attendance in school days. Ceremonies would consist of song and dance in reverence to the Holy People (one of many Navajo deities). Sadie's family would attend these and make the trek through isolated roads to visit relatives and catch up on the latest news from around Navajoland. Ceremonies were often times a place for socializing as well as healing. News mostly traveled by word of mouth as the latest technological feat- the television- had not been convenient for "muddy-road-wood-burning-no-electricity" people. Sam, her uncle, would probably just use it for a table or store things on top of it if they had one. For all she knew he'd probably sell it considering it would be virtually useless to buy more practical items. Items that were staple such as flour, canned foods, lard, kerosene, fabric, matches, and the other little necessities needed to make it through snowed-in days. Suddenly California or Kayenta seemed like such welcome options for her. She made up her mind. Once she got home she would tell Anna and Sara her plans.

She was getting closer as she saw the top of the windmill turning and the comforting smell of cedar burning. Anna had a fire going meaning it was warm inside and dinner was ready!

Growl.

It was Sadies stomach. The school cafeteria food was okay but the little walk and anticipation quickly burned off the last calories of her lunch. She felt calmness wash over her as she saw the sheep camp, the horse pen, and her two dogs as she approached. The sheep camp was set up as a small shack with a variety of branches and whatever else had been at hand to make a little pen- the horse pen likewise. Her skirt and hair whipped around as the wind increased and the temperature began to drop. She would need a heavier coat and thicker socks tomorrow. Someone had already taken the sheep out for a graze earlier as they stared contently as Sadie walked by. Her dogs ran up and escorted her knowing that scraps would soon be coming their way. The sheep knew my mother very well. She tended to them on the day's she was not in school. She would take them out and let them graze while she sat under a tree and ate her lunch. She would pack her lunch in a small plastic or paper bag and take a small notebook and pencil to practice writing. The sheep were pretty much aware of their grazing route thanks to the dogs. They were the typical reservation mutts which almost every Navajo family had. What kind of Navajo could afford such dogs, groom, and practically treat them like people? The concept was alien to the families here back then and still is. She often saw pictures of dogs in magazines that had pictures of dogs and their owners. The dogs often looked like their owners which caused a small smile to form on Sadies face. Here things were solely based on practicality and ease of introduction into a changing society that had not too long ago been agrarian. People planted vegetables, fruit, and raised sheep for consumption and wool- an evolving farming community.

She opened the door to see Sam, Sara, and Anna sitting in their mismatched dinner chairs speaking in Navajo about their plans. There was to be a trip to a nearby town to sell a rug that Anna had been working on the last couple of weeks. Her rugs were often bought by the traders at a trading post in Ganado. The lack of a formal Western education was rampant as was the lack of a family member who could speak fluent English. A formal Western education was something that was either a nuisance or an opportunity for a young Navajo lady in those days.

"My daughter. Sit down. Let's eat." Sara motioned for Sadie as she set a place for her at their small table and turned up the kerosene lamp. It's golden flames burned brighter as the small metal knob was turned. The shadows of the the family were cast opposite the wall where a smaller lamp was keeping the dark at bay. The Navajo language transliterated often comes across as a very direct language. Words are like a command- no nonsense, and to the point. There, of course, also is the reverse of the descriptive and the subject. So "Good meal" comes out "meal good" just as many other linguistic structures compare similarly. In their home the only person who was the English-speaking person was Sadie. All her relatives at home spoke nothing but Navajo. Sadie's English was just as bad as the next rural Navajo's but was slowly getting better.

Sadie put her books away and makeshift knapsack full of school supplies. The wash basin was a medium sized steel bowl full of water with a small bar of soap nearby. she washed her hands and dried them. Anna and Grace had made some fried potatoes, strips of fried beef, coffee (which my Sadie did not drink), and some store bread. Sadie also had a twinkie for an after- dinner snack that she had saved and had a hankering for. After dinner it was homework time. Sadie was doing well in school and did her homework with no problems. Practicing her new found language aloud made Sara smile and Anna confused.

She spoke to Sara about her plans for attending school so far away. Sadie wasn't the adventurous type however her older brothers ranting and raving compelled her to rethink the change of scenery.

"My mother. In the future Sonny wants me to go to school where he is at now." Sadie told Sara. She sat at the edge of the bed unlaced her shoes and stowed them underneath her old hand-me-down bed. Sara clasped her tiny hands together as Sadie sat next to her.

"My daughter. That school is so far away. What am I going to do without you?" Sara asked Sadie. She held Sadies hand and leaned Sadie against her. "I will miss you a lot my daughter like I miss your brother and sister."

Sara spoke in a subdued tone because Anna was dozing off and beginning to snore just a bit. She sounded so concerned and seemed a little sad. Maybe it was because she knew that her kids were growing up and were bound to leave. It made Sadie feel a little sad also.

"I'll be okay my mother. Sonny will take care of me. I would like it very much if I could go." Sadie said to Sara.

Sara was quiet for minute as she breathed a little more deeply. Outside the dogs barked at unknown things, the wind whisteled, and Sams chopping kept a steady tempo.

"I want you to go. There is nothing for you here. Nothing but old people and no school." Sara said. "Your Aunt doesn't want you to go. She wants you to stay and be like them. I do not want that for you my baby girl. I want you to learn." Sara leaned closer to Sadie and hugged her tight. Sadie sighed and began to drift as Sara's words sounded farther and farther away. School and a four mile walk does that to a young girl!

Sam was outside chopping some wood as the morning would be downright nippy. The stars were in full view as Sam labored to break apart the blocks of cedar into small enough logs for the woodstove. He stopped to take a breather and drank in the silence and looked up at the stars. He thought of many things these days and his age was one of them. He worried for this family and all the change that was taking place around him. His step daughter was speaking in a different manner and form. He knew she was sharp but lonely. Sadie's older brother and younger sister were away at school and they were fairly isolated here. Soon there would be roads, more houses, and all the things he saw in the bigger towns would be encroaching upon them. He didn't know what to make of it. Change was coming too fast and soon for his tastes.

Yah di la! (word for conceding to frustrated disappoinment; throwing your hands up) Maybe it's for the best. Sam thought as he saw the flickering lights from Chinle in the distance. He gathered wood and headed back into the little hogan.

© 2007 Tyrene Banks

Fry Bread and Sheep

2007-11-26T09:10:00.001-07:00

Okay people here's a little Rez 101. I wrote a section of my story with an introduction into the Navajo life of the early 50's. Around that time there were many technological marvels being introduced in the world. Like so many third world countries, the reservation, is often behind the times on techie things. The fifties were the beginning of the mass introduction of Western ideas, language, customs, and pop culture into the Navajo world. I may not be phrasing that right but you know what I mean.

I got a lot of these components from hearing stories from my mother, father, and all the old timers that are still around. Growing up in the 70's was a lot different for me compared to them. I had television, local channels, radio, a land line telephone, and the means for mass communication. These metal and plastic devices may have creeped in inextricably changing things but there still are the key components that make up my culture.

Food, livelihood, tradition, means of transportation, and language. I know there are great words I could use as far as sociology goes but I don't want to confuse people and would rather do it in simple laymens terms. Sides' if I did that I would have to literally spend hours poring over material to make sure I got it right. That would be too much like school work! Nah.

Okay first is food. Navajo's love frybread. Frybread originated from a dark period in Navajo history when we were herded to New Mexico and kept in a type of compound. During that time the old establishment thought that giving us rotten meat, flour, lice infested blankets, and shadiness would break us. That was when we had to make do with what we had and voila- frybread was born. Frybread is a mixture of Bluebird flour (it has to be this brand!), salt, baking soda, water, and TLC. I don't know how to make it but my mother does and moms is always the best!

This is the quintessential flour for making fry bread! Milled from the four corners area.

There's this tasty delight which can be dipped in stew or eaten by itself with salt. People will also use the bread for sandwiches. It's probably best to eat frybread once in a while. You know the carb thing and the amount of saturated fats can be quite high. That's why I eat it at least once a month.

Then we got the Navajo Taco. It's something so South Westy cuz' we got Ol' Mexico as vecinos (neighbors) and it just makes so much sense. Palate and stomach wise. Yes you may need to move that belt up a notch but eat it moderately, with common sense, and you should be alright.

Translation: Don't eat it everyday!

There are also the sheep.

Not only can we use it's wool for garments but we can also eat them. Don't get too disgusted.

I think eating fish eggs, raw meat, rotten cheese, and snails is disgusting! Sheep were originally introduced by the Spanish people during the conquistador period. We have a period in the spring when we shear the sheep, place their wool in huge gunny sacks, and sell them for cash. The shearing is a must because the lack of wool is a way of keeping them cool during the hot summer months. So it works both ways for the sheep and us! The culinary part is just an intrinsic identity blanket for us. Something we like to do that reminds us of good times and family. We like to roast, boil, and make a haggis-type of dish called blood sausage, and do not waste any part of the animal. I even ate the tongue once and it was quite good!

So that's it for the time being. I will add more items and do my best to explain the cultural differences and conundrums peeps may face while reading some of my stuff.

© 2007 Tyrene Banks; except Images and Links